Quantity Time

My last post has me thinking about time.  Now, I don't know what your priorities are and it's not my business, but frankly I am horrified by how little time  families actually spend together.  Especially when it's our job as parents to train and teach our children.   We are responsible for their lives, and for the people they will one day become, and whether we like it or not we will reap what we sow.  Do not be ignorant or deceived, something is always being sown, whether your kids are with you or somewhere else, whether by commission or omission on your part as the parent. 

Pretty much everyone who's anyone agrees that the very best way to teach our kids is during "teachable moments".  You can set your two year old down and talk to her about how important sharing is (and she'll forget everything you said the minute she walks away!), or you can be there for, and pay attention to, the times she has to play with other children, watch how she behaves, and address the behavior!  If she shares, praise her, when she rips the toy from another child's hand or screams because someone else has something she wants, then use that teachable moment to teach the character you want to see!  But you actually have to be there...
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I don't know about you, but I do not like what I see in children today.  Bad attitudes and disrespect seem to be accepted as normal among older children, particularly towards parents.  Somewhere, kids seem to be getting this idea that their parents aren't to be believed or trusted, that they themselves are the ultimate authority and the parents merely providers of basic needs and, depending on how spoiled a kid is, every want and whim!   Young parents, is this the child that you see yourself raising?  Make no mistake, these seeds are being sown everywhere except in the home where you are in control of the seed!  "One bad apple, indeed, spoils the bunch", do not believe that your good apple can come out of a bunch of bad apples unscathed...

Today there is a clear drift from absolutes.  Right and wrong depends on whatever an individual feels in the moment.  This is so evident when young teens can justify killing fellow classmates.  Sexuality among children is...there really are no words...Sickening.  Horrifying.  Disgusting.  Shameful.  What was once uncommon and unacceptable is now not only acceptable and common, but encouraged in schools by peers and even by the schools in their sex ed. classes, and where birth control is offered freely to children without parental consent.  Fourth graders are doing things that I blushed to learn about as a teenager (and I wasn't exactly an angel). 

If your children are in a public school, they are right smack dab in the midst of this.  Even if your school is a "good one", most of the children who attend are not being taught at home the character you likely want to see in your kids, regardless of what your standards and philosophy are.  Just think about it.

Most kids spend 35 hours or more in school every week, depending on how many extra-curricular activities they are signed up for, they get home with at least an hour of homework to complete which tags on another five hours per week, if they're lucky; the average kid is involved in at least one extra activity which requires daily practice be it sports or music, so, we'll say, that is another five hours taken of their time each week...concluding that the average student commits at least 45 hours every week to school and activities.

Sure, that doesn't seem like a great deal of time when you know that there are 168 hours in a full week.  But any responsible parent is going to insist that their child get10 hours of sleep nightly, which eats up 70 of those hours.  Considering that, they're left with 98 hours for family time, each week.

Parents are also scheduled to the max more often than not, working at least 40 hours every week, cooking, cleaning, maintenance, projects, running kids around to various games and concerts...with very little time for individual hobbies or relaxation.  And I don't know any parent who doesn't need some of that. 

So let's take a look at any given day.  Everyone gets up and ready to go, say, by 7 o'clock, breakfast is made and eaten quickly enough to avoid missing the bus.  Mom and dad commute while their children ride said bus for at least 15 minutes with all sorts of miscreants...sorry, but it's true! 

Once at school, they're stuck within the confines of the school and it's schedule from 8:30-3:30, practice of some sort until 4:30 or 5 o'clock.  Home by 5:30 dinner is finished by 6 or 6:30 just in time to do chores and homework.  By the time that is finished it is 7:30 or 8 o'clock and only an hour of free time left before bed! Now the decision is whether to spend that time independently, enjoying some veg time in front of the TV, on a project, or having what we call "family time" where we actually talk and interact with one another.  As children get older, it seems the latter is the least popular option when there are games to play, TV to watch, and friends to talk to...

Then, of course, there are weekends.  I can't say what the "typical" American family weekend looks like, but insert yours here.  Take stock of how much of your "free days" you spend together, enjoying the company of your family, paying attention to 'teachable moments'.  And ask yourself how much of you are your children really getting?    Are you satisfied with the investment that you are making in the training up of your children?  Or are your priorities set in such a way that they're getting your dregs?